This is America, speak English or go back to your own country!!  How many Karens and Chads have you seen on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, all harassing some poor bloke they overheard speaking Chinese, Spanish, Tagalog, Farsi, Arabic, Swahili, or Japanese at a Starbucks, a grocery store checkout line, a bank, or a McDonald’s restaurant as if the first language to reach the shores of the United States wasn’t actually French in 1535 before the Spanish got to our North American shores in 1565?  All that Christopher Columbus mumbo jumbo aside, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen or heard someone talk that trash I would have a jet with a pilot on 24 hour standby.  But I’m living in Japan, and this isn’t about back home at this particular moment.  I’ve been here for three years now and my Japanese still isn’t very good at all.  I can read and write a lot better than I can speak, but I understand a lot more than I realize sometimes.  In many ways, the Japanese are very different from us but in a lot of ways they’re a lot like us.  One thing that struck me was that although they’re taught English in the school systems here, they don’t speak it and think they don’t understand it.  They understand more than they’ll let on oftentimes. But try not to take that as a form of disrespect.  They’re afraid to make mistakes or perhaps sound stupid or ignorant.  I let them know that it’s okay to make mistakes, because that’s how you learn.  They too have the same opinion about us “Gaijin” making mistakes.  I’ve noticed that with the Japanese people, you don’t have to sound good.  The very fact that you put forth any effort to try speaking the language, and I mean any effort whatsoever.  They’ll love you for it and take it as a high form of respect for them, for their culture, and for their language.  Interestingly enough, and you’ll find this odd because I just got done telling you that they’re a lot like us right after starting this whole yammering diatribe by complaining about Karens and Chads who demand everyone in America speak English or take a long walk off a short plank in shark infested waters.  But the more fluent in Japanese you become, the less adorably cute you’ll find yourself to be here.  But if there is one thing that I know about the Japanese people, it’s this. The fact that they appear to be quite shy might be the understatement of the millennium.  But if you pass a Japanese man a microphone, you just might find yourself one heck of a ham who loves to sing.  Song and drinks are a somewhat common way that folks bond together over here.  If you’re anything like me, the most hammy ham pork rind in the bag, they’re going to love it.  If you’re a good singer, all the better.  You don’t have to be Freddie Mercury to make friends, but let me give you a slice of advice.  If you learn even one Japanese song, you’d be surprised just how many new friends you will earn, all of them eager to buy you the next round.

When COVID first began, before anyone was taking it seriously in either Japan or the United States just yet, of course.  They were holding auditions in Omihachiman for an NHK television show that had a professional band who could literally play any song you could pull out your bum and your job is to sing it before a live audience and panel of judges.  If you managed to make it through the whole song without being cut off, you could win.  At the very least you could win some local celebrity.  I auditioned for the show in front of an audience of over 500 people with a well known Japanese song, Jidai Okure.  I had them eating out of my hand.  But Mrs S told me I screwed the pooch when after my audition, when they asked me where I was from, like an idiot I answered, “Los Angeles.’  Apparently I was supposed to say the town that I actually hold Japanese residence.  They dismissed me as just a lowly tourist, and I lost my chance.  However, although all I got out of that audition was a t-shirt.  I get approached by men and women of all ages, asking me, “why do you have this shirt?”  When I tell them about the audition attempt, somehow they find it impressive that I even had the nerve to try.  Anytime a Gaijin tries over here, it’ll at the very least get you some kind of praise or conversation.  I’m quite popular when I sing at the Pig and Whistle from time to time or at various karaoke joints.  Learning the language here can get you far, earn you friends and connections that could lead you in directions that you never thought yourself headed.  But learning a Japanese song will send them to the moon and just might land you in the good graces of someone who just might want to introduce you to his or her friends.  I’m not saying that you’ll get sucked off over the Sukiyaki Song or that anyone is going to be your Papa Katsu (sugar daddy) for learning a pop song.  But you do realize, fellow L.A. Brass Monkey Karaoke Kings, that Karaoke originated in Japan, right??

Being that the world seems to finally be coming back to its senses (is it?) on this whole Coronamania. Japan appears to be taking baby-steps towards opening up its borders to allow tourists and potential new expats back in. Students have already begun their arrival, so we’re all hoping that things will take a turn back towards the normal. Given the dollar’s strength these days, the exchange rate has never been more in favor of dollar holders, and tourists as well as new long-stay expats could very well end up getting a lot more bang for their buck. Having been living in Japan for the past three years, I’ve come to find that aside from the whole no weed thing I have never felt more free in most of my life. Sure, there are numerous “rules” that you’re allegedly supposed to be following. But here’s the strange truth. The rules are simple, behave and have some integrity to follow the rules when nobody is looking. Remember that you’re still an outsider and you need to recognize that although you’re probably the only person actually following said rules, you still need to know them and definitely need to follow them, at least until you’ve become friendly with your local police and all your neighbors. But even then, I strongly suggest you keep right on following the rules. It goes like this. You have the law, the local rule, and then you have the unwritten rule that you’re supposed to simply know already. However, you’re going to notice some strange things at strange times, particularly on the road. For starters, you’re going to be driving on the left side of the road from the right side of the car. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it in no time at all. You’re going to come here starting out your first year driving on the International Driver’s License that you picked up from AAA in the USA before you came. Start studying the rules of the road right away. I’m not going to get into a whole driver’s education course here but I will tell you that there are a few things you need to know before you go.

Of all the signs you’re going to see, the most important one that you should know is the stop sign and you’ll see the same thing painted in pretty large on the pavement. Unlike not only the USA but in many other countries as well, the stop sign is not octagonal in Japan. It’s an upside-down triangle much similar to our “yield” sign. Above on the right is the closest thing to a yield sign there is, so remember that.

But back to the rules. Something you’re going to find out here is that nobody really follows the rules, specifically old people. I’m not saying this to be ageist, it’s a fact and anyone living here will tell you this as truth. It’s odd, but if there’s a stop sign. There’s a strong possibility that they won’t stop at the stop sign and if there isn’t a stop sign and you happen to be sitting at one, the will stop for you to go. They really are just trying to be polite, so try not to get too frustrated. Just wave and motion for them to keep going and they’ll likely wave back and go. Just remember that you need to be careful in neighborhoods because they’re not following the rules, especially if there’s no cop to be seen.

Bare this in mind when driving, take note of the stickers that you see on cars. It will help you to remain mindful on the road.

New drivers are compelled to have the above left sticker on the front and back of their car for a period of one year after they’ve earned their driver’s license. Personally, I’ve found the testing process for earning your driver’s license to be interesting. There was an actual driver’s course where you are testing with people who are testing for their taxi, bus, motorcycle, or trucking licenses at the same time. It’s relatively common for people to fail their test on the first 2 or 3 attempts. But they do allow people to practice on the course on off days and on testing days, applicants are permitted to physically walk through the driving course at the beginning of the testing day. Elderly drivers usually have one of the two above right stickers on their car. Give them a wide berth. There are also stickers for hard of hearing, handicapped, and drivers in training that you should be aware of. I’d also cut them some slack and remember to be cautious around care you see with the following stickers below.

These are only a few things to keep in mind. But these aren’t the only rules new expats, students, and tourists need to be mindful of. These are merely some road rules. I’ll be posting some other rules in more posts down the line. But if you’re going to be coming here and want to get out to see more of the country itself, it’s a good idea to get accustomed to driving here.

Of all the numerous rules that you’re going to find yourself be expected to follow.  It’s not as hard as you might suspect it to be, and you might also find yourself being smiled and nodded at for simply doing them without anyone telling you to.  Even if you notice that so many people around you don’t follow the rules around here, follow them and you’ll look like a champ in the end.

On public transportation:

Whether it’s on the train or on the bus, you don’t need to be lounging big dick style like you’re king ding-a-ling, For the love of God, close your damn legs already.  It’s a definite no-no to be sitting spread-eagle like you’ve got the biggest dick on the bus.  Every once in awhile, you might run into a Japanese male of a certain age who sits on the train like he’s got the biggest dick in the world.  Don’t look at that as a call for yourself to do the same.  Trust me, the locals don’t like him either.    Tallywhackers aside, here’s another thing to keep in mind.  If you just so happen to be wearing a backpack.  You are expected to wear it on your front on the train or subway during the busy times, and it does get busy to the point that they literally have guys who shove people into the train cars packed like sardines.

Food, yay or nay? 

On the bus, it’s a definite no-no.  There is no eating on the bus, and I wouldn’t drink either.  But I doubt anyone will look at you funny if you’re just drinking from a bottle of water.  On the train, I will admit that there are people who give you mixed reports.  I heard Josh Rogin on an interview with Joe Rogan, talking about how his Dad was eating food on the train even though he told him that you’re not supposed to do that.  Sure, he worked for Asahi Shinbun (major newspaper in Japan), but that doesn’t mean he’s correct in this assumption.  If they had a problem with people eating food on the train, there wouldn’t be food vending stations on the actual platform.  You are, however, expected to take your garbage with you.  Yes, you’re going to notice that there are practically next to zero garbage cans just about anywhere you go.  But I can assure you that 99.8% of the people here either take their garbage home with them or they drop it off in their local train station when they arrive at their destinations.

Men & women: 

Gentlemen:

This means you, white boy, and I cannot stress this enough.  Keep your eyes in your head.  If you’re new here, you’re going to see a lot of pretty women just about everywhere you go.  I’ll make this simple for you.  Firstly, learn to use reflective surfaces to look at the ladies and learn to be bashful and look away quickly if she catches you looking.  Do not stare.  Not only is it extremely impolite, but there’s another thing that you need to wrap your head around and I’m being 100% serious about this.  You’re in Japan now, this is not the United States.  You will never in  your life encounter a larger percentage of creepy males on a per-capita basis like you will here.  In many cases, it’s shyness and social anxiety.  But in many cases, it’s just straight up creepiness.  Don’t make yourself just one more motherfucker that Japanese women have got to be creeped out by or made to feel uncomfortable around.  Secondly, and probably should be firstly, but if you are on a crowded train or subway.  I strongly recommend being around mostly men and keeping your distance from the ladies.  Of, if you cannot, try to ride with both hands visible to anyone and everyone at all times. Don’t get yourself into a jackpot situation because there is always a possibility of you getting singled out when it could very well be the innocent looking guy nearby you.  Remember this, you’re the Gaijin, we get all the blame for anything that happens around here. 

Ladies:

Take this to heart and know that I mean it from the heart.  If you can avoid riding the trains or subways during rush-hour periods in Japan, do it.  If you have no choice and absolutely must ride during rush-hours, just remember that in the big cities there are women only train cars, ride them.  JR East and Tokyo Metro Company have women-only rail-cars roughly between 7AM – 9:30AM.  This could differ here and there, but take advantage of it.  JR West and portions of the metro services in Osaka and Nagoya have women-only rail-cars operating all day long.  I’m not going to get into a whole op-ed on sexual assault in Japan on this particular post.  I’m sure I will at some point along the way as I continue on this blogging adventure.  Just know that it’s a thing here and that the police here aren’t exactly what any normal people from Western Civilization would call “helpful” when it comes to sexual assault in Japan.  Be aware at all times and keep your wits about you.  They literally had to compel the Apple Corporation to only sell phones in Japan that make the camera-click sound even when sound is turned off.  That’s how out of control the creepos are in this country.  Note below on the right, beware of perverts signs are kinda all over the place.

Note From Author:

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If you haven’t been paying attention to what’s been happening around you, perhaps you should start paying closer attention, because it’s happening.  It happening, your country is being overthrown and it isn’t going to stop happening until you’ve been completely overrun by a brutal and unaccountable corporatocracy without a face and a regenerative head.  As I stated before in a couple other posts, I grew up enjoying standup comedy with my father ever since I was a kid.  Rare were such moments when I would feel emotional about a famous person passing away, but I actually wept when George Carlin died.  I grew up listening to him, since the days when he was more of a wordsmith who would do wonderful routines about the English language, some of them were even moderately clean comedy routines.  Hit such as “Icebox Man” and “Fussy Eater”, from his album, A Place For My Stuff, were personal childhood favorites of mine.  But as he got older, he held back less and opened up more in ways that truly spoke the truth about American culture, our government, politics, and the true owners and controllers of our country.  Rather than getting into a big opine of him and trying to convince you how awesome he was, I’ll let him speak for himself and you can decide for yourself.

For more great George Carlin materials…

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

I flew straight to Los Angeles, California after I got out the Navy, Redondo Beach actually.  When I got there, I was staying with my brother and two other guys from my hometown.  It was a day I’ll never forget because less than 2 hours after my friend, Django picked me up from LAX, we went to visit a girl I’d known since middle school who put 2 hits of blotter acid on my tongue and we partied like it was a few days after the L.A. Riots of 1992 because it was a few days after the L.A. Riots of 1992.  We lived just a block and a half away from Torrance Beach by Miramar Park on Palos Verdes Boulevard and it was one of the best trips I’ve ever had.  My musical tastes were already beginning to change after my brother had turned me on to a few different things.  We had a great stereo with speakers mounted closer to the ceiling.  We trekked the beach for hours, smoking weed and talking.  I was tripping bean, and the sun had already been down a few hours by this time.  I had just peaked in my acid trip and was starting to mellow out after my brother gave me a long talk how L.A. was a city where anyone could be anything they wanted to be, anyone they wanted to be if they just made the commitment.  We’re walking along the shore and the waves that came crashing down were mesmerizing until this little baby seal walked right up to me and started barking at me.  At first I thought I was just tripping, and my brother (whom was totally sober) let me know, “nope, that’s a fucking seal.  Wow.”  We got back home, and listened to Philip Glass, Music for the Screens, which I will post later.  Then as he was winding down, my brother put a CD by Maurice Jarre into the stereo that blew my mind like no other.  It really knocked me for a loop.  For those of you who don’t know, Maurice Jarre is a composer who has done music for films for a long time, and is best known for the soundtracks to the classic films such as Doctor Zhivago, starring Omar Sharif, and Lawrence of Arabia, starring Peter O’Toole, as well as contemporary classics such as Witness, starring Harrison Ford,   Maurice Jarre’s original motion picture soundtrack to director Adrian Lyne’s (Fatal Attraction) 1990 film, Jacob’s Ladder, starring Tim Robbins, Elizabeth Peña, and Danny Aielio.   Quite frankly, Jacob’s Ladder was better than every other film that Adrian Lyne’s best film.  But I’ll let you decide for yourself.  I was coming down from a heavy trip, listen to this then tell me if there was a part that would’ve woken you up from a come-down slumber after a heavy acid trip?

Jacob’s Ladder is one of my all time favorite films, a true masterpiece of dramatic horror mystery.  I was more than a little disappointed that the 21st Century remake monster of our current Hollywood community wasted their time remaking rather than taking a risk on buying a new intellectual property.  But you can purchase Jacob’s Ladder on DVD at Amazon.  It’s also currently available streaming on Amazon Prime if you happen to have Amazon Prime.  But this post was so I could share the Jacob’s Ladder original motion picture soundtrack with you, which you can also find on Amazon as well.

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

One of my favorite things as a kid was watching standup comedy laser discs with my father when laser disc preceded the Betamax. I’m sure plenty of you are aware of the laser disc players that came out after VHS some years before DVD, Blu-Ray and streaming came along and put Laser Blazer in West L.A. out of business (before Jay and Silent Bob relocated their Secret Stash), but I’m not talking about that laser disc. My love for the religion of standup comedy started back when you shoved a big thick plastic laser disc into the machine like an 8-track. How in the Hell that the true comic genius had escaped my radar for so many years, being that he’s been doing it for well over 20 years, is beyond me. I don’t know, maybe it was because I grew up on Richard Pryor and Redd Fox. But as I’ve stated before, I’m a Pandora fanatic, and I discovered him a bit too late in my life on the Political Comedy channel.  I won’t go into a huge long diatribe on him nor his material, because his comedy speaks for itself and though I’ve not been booed off a stage at an open mic, I still haven’t done enough reps to criticize or critique or say who’s good and who isn’t.  I was just so shocked to find someone whom I could almost call my spirit animal.

But for fuck’s sake, you cheap fucker, buy his material and support independent standup comedians who are out there grinding and making people laugh.  This was only a small excerpt of a fantastic show, No Refunds, which I saw on Netflix.  But you can find lots of great stuff here.

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

Interesting little factoid about yours truly, I’ve purchased more than a few soundtracks before I’d even seen the movie.  As I stated already in the previous post, I’m a big fan of dramatic music.  Which is why I have so many motion picture soundtracks in my CD collection.  Before I joined the Navy, I was into a lot of punk rock bands like Black Flag, The Circle Jerks, and Naked Raygun, or dark industrial electronica like Ministry or Skinny Puppy.  My brother told me about an album by Peter Gabriel, called Passion, which was the original motion picture soundtrack to The Last Temptation of Christ, a film by Martin Scorsese.  He was living in Los Angeles while I was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia.  So naturally I ran right out to the local shopping mall and purchased the cassette tape right away.  Passion, by Peter Gabriel, whom I was not the biggest fan of at the time by the way, profoundly changed my musical tastes immediately and forevermore.   My first foreign country that I ever got to visit was Bahrain, and I was there for more than 2 weeks before I even saw my ship.  Uncle Sam put me up in a د.ب500BD per night Sheraton Hotel, which comes out to about $1,375 per night, of which I was in my own room for 10 days before they made me stay at the ASU (American Support Unit), but I digress…  I liked the music, because it was unlike anything I had ever heard before, sounding so primitively mysterious in its different tones and scales that people in that portion of the globe played.  However, I had only really heard it in the taxi cabs when I explored the city of Manama.  I ended up surprised when I went shopping and ended up buying all these bootlegs that supplied me with the entire Red Hot Chili Peppers discography on Thames.  Only for me to find out that Mother’s Milk (which was new at the time) and Uplift Mofo Party Plan were thus far the only halfway decent things they had recorded as of yet.  I was jet-lagged, so I would wake up at 0400 and would hear the call to prayer faintly over the city loudspeakers from behind my hotel window overlooking the dusty island city off the coast of Saudi Arabia.  To me, it was all so filled with an ominous mystique that I found more intriguing than foreboding.  But I was still musically immature at the time and hadn’t quite found that which would change my worldview yet.  After listening to this soundtrack, I listened to it exclusively on my Walkman for more than a month.  At first, I wasn’t at all interested in seeing The Last Temptation of Christ, being that at the time the last thing I wanted to see or hear anything about was Jesus.  Having grown up in Catholicism and Christianity, not to mention that once you get into the military you will be exposed to all sorts of Christian influence peddlers seeking to take advantage of ungrounded or spiritually ambivalent youngsters away from home for the first time, I simply wasn’t interested in such a film.  But once my brother, whom has always been a strong influence on me, told me that the Christians absolutely hated that film, I hopped on a bus and transferred to another bus to find a video store to rent that film and made my entire department watch the New York accented apostles and Jesus in a show that folks thought was sacrilegiously blasphemous.  However, I quite found Nikos Kazantzakis’ interpretation of Christ to be more than a little influential for me.  I believe that concept far more than I do just about anything some reprobate faith peddling huckster tries selling it.  At any rate, I hope you enjoy this playlist.  Thus far, this is the first actual “playlist” I’ve shared.  This is by far the best work that Peter Gabriel has done to this very day, and I would also highly recommend picking up this soundtrack,  Peter Gabriel’s Passion Soundtrack on Amazon.

If you enjoyed that, and have a deeper curiosity for learning more about his influence and what later became known as “world beat”, you might want to check out PASSION SOURCES, released by Real World.

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

In my extensive CD collection, I have numerous motion picture soundtracks because I happen to enjoy dramatic music.  I’ll be sharing several different motion picture soundtracks for you to get your hands on in the upcoming posts on this category.  John Barry (Dances With Wolves, Out of Africa), Maurice Jarre (Jacob’s Ladder, Witness), Trevor Jones (Last of the Mohicans, with Randy Edelman), Philip Glass (Koyaanisqatsi, Powaqqatsi) and Ryuichi Sakamoto (The Last Emperor, The Sheltering Sky), are some of my favorite contemporary composers.  But Mrs S and I sometimes spend a lot of time just cruising YouTube to find some new music that we might not have otherwise checked out.  If you’ve not heard of him before, you may have heard his music if you enjoy anime.

Joe Hisaishi did the soundtracks to all of the iconic Studio Ghibli anime films, such as Spirited Away, Howl’s Moving Castle, and My Neighbor Totoro, just to name a few.  He’s also known for doing the soundtracks to Kitano Takeshi’s (Beat Takeshi) motion pictures, like his 2000 film, Brother, starring Takeshi Kitano, Omar Epps, and Claud Maki.  We found this concert that highlighted the entire Studio Ghibli filmography, and I felt compelled to share this wonderful concert with you.  Enjoy.

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

Since picking up and moving to Japan to help Mrs S take care of a dying mother with ALS, numerous people keep asking me about life in Japan.  It’s remarkably different in a lot of ways, but one thing that isn’t different is that good music can be found anywhere in the world.  I’ve been with my wife for over 16 years, and let me tell you something.  For most of us, music is usually one of the first things people initially bond on when making new friends and acquaintances.  I’m sure you all know that when you meet or start dating someone new, most of us put our best foot forward.  Remember the good old days of the “mix tape” being the thing that you would put your time and effort into in hopes of wooing a woman or a man?  Perhaps you don’t, maybe I’m giving away my age even asking that question.  Let me be real with you for a moment, and I know that I’m probably going to get a few boos from the peanut gallery. But there is an extraordinary amount of shitty music out there, especially over here in Japan.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it here, surely I do.  But there’s more noise pollution that you could ever believe and the musical tastes of the majority of the public is rooted in absolute garbage like AKB48.  Now I’m not trying to be a total dick, but a little bit.  It’s one bad pop band after another pop group after another boy band after another terrible soloist.  I would even go so far as to come right out and state clearly that most of what I hear when I go to the local grocery store or department store or electronics store is nothing short of being worthy of being labeled as straight up noise pollution.  I know there’s plenty of Puffy Amiyumi fans out there in the USA who might disagree with what I’m saying here.  But I’m not necessarily talking about them.  I actually enjoy some of their cuts, not many but some.

However, let me hip you to someone that I do actually like.  Shiina Ringo, 椎名林檎, is a pop-rock artist of Japan that I happen to really enjoy, mainly because she has a way of surrounding herself with strong musicians and producers.  She puts on a great show, however, she’s not exactly what you might label as a big star.  She’s well known, but like I said, people mostly tend to listen to garbage that gets crammed down their throats by the corporate overlords.  When I first my Mrs S, she really did put her best foot forward.  It wasn’t this, in fact we kinda discovered Shiina Ringo (椎名林檎) together.  But she turned me on to a lot of music from the 1970s Japanese music scene, which also goes along with my other hypothesis about the true pinnacle of contemporary music was in the 1970s.  I don’t care if it’s rock, pop, R&B, country, jazz, Latin, or Japanese music, the 1970s was this time of musical evolution that was occurring before corporate culture turned it to shit, but I digress…

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.