Of all the numerous rules that you’re going to find yourself be expected to follow.  It’s not as hard as you might suspect it to be, and you might also find yourself being smiled and nodded at for simply doing them without anyone telling you to.  Even if you notice that so many people around you don’t follow the rules around here, follow them and you’ll look like a champ in the end.

On public transportation:

Whether it’s on the train or on the bus, you don’t need to be lounging big dick style like you’re king ding-a-ling, For the love of God, close your damn legs already.  It’s a definite no-no to be sitting spread-eagle like you’ve got the biggest dick on the bus.  Every once in awhile, you might run into a Japanese male of a certain age who sits on the train like he’s got the biggest dick in the world.  Don’t look at that as a call for yourself to do the same.  Trust me, the locals don’t like him either.    Tallywhackers aside, here’s another thing to keep in mind.  If you just so happen to be wearing a backpack.  You are expected to wear it on your front on the train or subway during the busy times, and it does get busy to the point that they literally have guys who shove people into the train cars packed like sardines.

Food, yay or nay? 

On the bus, it’s a definite no-no.  There is no eating on the bus, and I wouldn’t drink either.  But I doubt anyone will look at you funny if you’re just drinking from a bottle of water.  On the train, I will admit that there are people who give you mixed reports.  I heard Josh Rogin on an interview with Joe Rogan, talking about how his Dad was eating food on the train even though he told him that you’re not supposed to do that.  Sure, he worked for Asahi Shinbun (major newspaper in Japan), but that doesn’t mean he’s correct in this assumption.  If they had a problem with people eating food on the train, there wouldn’t be food vending stations on the actual platform.  You are, however, expected to take your garbage with you.  Yes, you’re going to notice that there are practically next to zero garbage cans just about anywhere you go.  But I can assure you that 99.8% of the people here either take their garbage home with them or they drop it off in their local train station when they arrive at their destinations.

Men & women: 

Gentlemen:

This means you, white boy, and I cannot stress this enough.  Keep your eyes in your head.  If you’re new here, you’re going to see a lot of pretty women just about everywhere you go.  I’ll make this simple for you.  Firstly, learn to use reflective surfaces to look at the ladies and learn to be bashful and look away quickly if she catches you looking.  Do not stare.  Not only is it extremely impolite, but there’s another thing that you need to wrap your head around and I’m being 100% serious about this.  You’re in Japan now, this is not the United States.  You will never in  your life encounter a larger percentage of creepy males on a per-capita basis like you will here.  In many cases, it’s shyness and social anxiety.  But in many cases, it’s just straight up creepiness.  Don’t make yourself just one more motherfucker that Japanese women have got to be creeped out by or made to feel uncomfortable around.  Secondly, and probably should be firstly, but if you are on a crowded train or subway.  I strongly recommend being around mostly men and keeping your distance from the ladies.  Of, if you cannot, try to ride with both hands visible to anyone and everyone at all times. Don’t get yourself into a jackpot situation because there is always a possibility of you getting singled out when it could very well be the innocent looking guy nearby you.  Remember this, you’re the Gaijin, we get all the blame for anything that happens around here. 

Ladies:

Take this to heart and know that I mean it from the heart.  If you can avoid riding the trains or subways during rush-hour periods in Japan, do it.  If you have no choice and absolutely must ride during rush-hours, just remember that in the big cities there are women only train cars, ride them.  JR East and Tokyo Metro Company have women-only rail-cars roughly between 7AM – 9:30AM.  This could differ here and there, but take advantage of it.  JR West and portions of the metro services in Osaka and Nagoya have women-only rail-cars operating all day long.  I’m not going to get into a whole op-ed on sexual assault in Japan on this particular post.  I’m sure I will at some point along the way as I continue on this blogging adventure.  Just know that it’s a thing here and that the police here aren’t exactly what any normal people from Western Civilization would call “helpful” when it comes to sexual assault in Japan.  Be aware at all times and keep your wits about you.  They literally had to compel the Apple Corporation to only sell phones in Japan that make the camera-click sound even when sound is turned off.  That’s how out of control the creepos are in this country.  Note below on the right, beware of perverts signs are kinda all over the place.

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